Things We Believe (Parenting Edition)

Natalie, you're new here, so I thought it might help curb your stress level to know a few things about how we Robies operate. We have come to some of these conclusions on instinct, some on anecdotal observation of friends, and some on scientific research. Here is the start of an occasional list of Things We Believe in the Roby Family:

We believe babies seek communion with mom, dad, and other kids.

We believe babies develop better communication skills if we respond to their vocal and non-vocal efforts to "talk" to us.

We believe there is plenty of time for babies to develop independence; that although there are sacrifices that need to be made, it is more important to nurture babies and children through needy times than to force independence on them (as though you could force it anyway).

We hope to God that slinging the second baby will help make up for the reality that life is often more catered to the first child right now.

We believe that a little but of residual caffeine in breast milk is no biggie, but that soda and undiluted juice represent Satan.

We are (obviously) okay with a few hypocritical stances and double standards, but we aim to reduce these as much as possible.

We believe that almost without exception, the moms and dads we see in public love their children very much, even though they might be making parenting decisions that we might view as "unhealthy" or "god-awful crazy."

We believe in teaching by example, that only on rare occasions does it actually feel okay to deny our babies something that we are eating ourselves. The reality is, if it isn't good for a 2 year old, it might not be good for a 28 year old either. Of course, this doesn't apply to lattes or beer.

We believe that Other Loving Adults (OLA's) are essential to raising a well-adjusted child, and we seek time with OLA's constantly.

We believe in wearing your baby, comforting children to sleep, exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months, child-led weaning, setting few but firm boundaries with our kids, clearly communicating age-appropriate consequences and enforcing them, whole grain instead of white, learning real names for private body parts like vagina and penis, modeling a prayer life for our children, "please" and "thank you" are attitudes, not words; that marriage requires time away from children for more than just physical intimacy, that children can be allowed to cry in an OLA's arms when parents need that time away, that first and second year birthday parties should not involve sponge bob or Dora the explorer but that an occasional pinata is okay, that our kids will not become walking advertisements by wearing clothes with the company name in big letters across the front, that TV is bad for your health, that it is our responsibility to prevent ourselves and our children from developing adult onset diabetes, and that children are inherently spiritual, artistic beings who require nourishment but not dictatorship in these areas.

We believe in a parent staying home with children (and by staying home, I mean, taking them to the mall, the carousel, the zoo, the park, down the street to the neighbor's house, on a snail hunt, to the bagel shop, to grandma's, to the pool, to the library, to La Leche League meetings, to Bible studies, to daddy's work for lunch, to the gym day care, etc.).

We believe it is more powerful to ask, "How did you do that?" in an excited tone than to exclaim, "That is the best drawing I've ever seen!"

We believe boys and girls are inherently different but that our society exaggerates, romanticizes, and sexualizes these differences as much as possible. Therefore, we believe in neutralizing society's effect of gender polarization but strengthening our daughters' natural leanings towards gender identity.

We believe we were blessed with intelligent, responsive, affectionate, and disciplined children and we acknowledge our parenting strategies would not work for every child out there.

We believe that blogging during nap time is unbelievably healthy for the intellectual development of whichever parent stays home, even though the prospect of 2 hours' sleep is awfully tempting.