Playground Confessions, Part II
"And now, back to our regularly scheduled Playground Confessions!"
The setting: A park I've never been to. I am there to meet up with an Attachment Parenting playgroup but no one else shows. I do spot two little kids playing off to the side of the building and I go around to introduce myself. Perhaps Grace will be entertained by these adorable twins and stop throwing sand in her hair.
The players: Me, Grace and Natalie (obviously), a boy and girl set of twins, 3 years old, a woman and a man in wheelchairs, tending to the kids. They both look mid-30's. She is blonde and probably wore leg warmers in the 80's. She still wears blue eye shadow. He has glasses and speaks sternly yet lovingly to the kids.
The wind up: Blue eye-shadow mom and I are chatting as the kids run haywire around the empty playground and stern man wheels after twin boy who is running full steam aways from us across the baseball field. She mentions that it is so much hotter here. I inquire where they are from. They've just moved from Seattle. See, her husband has a drug addiction problem and can't stay employed. Oh, sure. I know. The whole "husband dope addict problem." Sure. I nod. They are separated until he keeps the same job in construction for more than 6 months and must be clean for a year. Yep, that makes sense. I nod again, wondering if I have a sign on my forehead, and I begin to think this story would make a good post.
It gets better: If you can believe it, it does get better. Eye-shadow mom wheels over to the other twin as stern man returns to our shaded area. He mentions something about his job, and I ask him about what type of construction he does. Oh, no, you see, he's not the husband. Just a friend. The twins' godfather. Been friends with the mom since childhood at a school for disabled children. Okay. But, you, know, everyone always assumes he's her husband, what with the intense connection they have. I mean, he's always thought that there could be something between them if she hadn't gotten married...His voice trails off. I nod. Sure, I know. The whole "in love with another man's wife problem." Yes, yes, tough stuff.
The wrap-up: This guy is out here at the park, acting like the father these kids don't have, and is hoping against hope that eye-shadow woman kicks out her good-for-nothing husband for good. She must totally be aware of this but continues to lead him on in a certain fashion; after all, it is flattering and he is a big help with the kids.
The analysis: Some issues are so personal and secret but are also on your mind 24/7 (like being in love with a married woman, or having a husband with a drug problem), that you sometimes just have to talk about it with someone who can't do any damage with the information.
I now invite any of your comments on similar experiences. Any random people confessing there personal lives to you at the playground/water cooler/shopping mall/airplane?
The setting: A park I've never been to. I am there to meet up with an Attachment Parenting playgroup but no one else shows. I do spot two little kids playing off to the side of the building and I go around to introduce myself. Perhaps Grace will be entertained by these adorable twins and stop throwing sand in her hair.
The players: Me, Grace and Natalie (obviously), a boy and girl set of twins, 3 years old, a woman and a man in wheelchairs, tending to the kids. They both look mid-30's. She is blonde and probably wore leg warmers in the 80's. She still wears blue eye shadow. He has glasses and speaks sternly yet lovingly to the kids.
The wind up: Blue eye-shadow mom and I are chatting as the kids run haywire around the empty playground and stern man wheels after twin boy who is running full steam aways from us across the baseball field. She mentions that it is so much hotter here. I inquire where they are from. They've just moved from Seattle. See, her husband has a drug addiction problem and can't stay employed. Oh, sure. I know. The whole "husband dope addict problem." Sure. I nod. They are separated until he keeps the same job in construction for more than 6 months and must be clean for a year. Yep, that makes sense. I nod again, wondering if I have a sign on my forehead, and I begin to think this story would make a good post.
It gets better: If you can believe it, it does get better. Eye-shadow mom wheels over to the other twin as stern man returns to our shaded area. He mentions something about his job, and I ask him about what type of construction he does. Oh, no, you see, he's not the husband. Just a friend. The twins' godfather. Been friends with the mom since childhood at a school for disabled children. Okay. But, you, know, everyone always assumes he's her husband, what with the intense connection they have. I mean, he's always thought that there could be something between them if she hadn't gotten married...His voice trails off. I nod. Sure, I know. The whole "in love with another man's wife problem." Yes, yes, tough stuff.
The wrap-up: This guy is out here at the park, acting like the father these kids don't have, and is hoping against hope that eye-shadow woman kicks out her good-for-nothing husband for good. She must totally be aware of this but continues to lead him on in a certain fashion; after all, it is flattering and he is a big help with the kids.
The analysis: Some issues are so personal and secret but are also on your mind 24/7 (like being in love with a married woman, or having a husband with a drug problem), that you sometimes just have to talk about it with someone who can't do any damage with the information.
I now invite any of your comments on similar experiences. Any random people confessing there personal lives to you at the playground/water cooler/shopping mall/airplane?
posted by Sarah at 12:46 PM
3 Comments:
Well, Sarah, if you wern't such a great listener and so gosh darn nice, people wouldn't feel so comfortable with you. I on the other hand, just look too stern or serious apparently (or so I'm told) that people don't seem to just saddle up to me and start confessing their sins. Guess I made a good career choice and didn't become a priest...wouldn't get much business :) This post had me cracking up at how funny people are and just open up to complete strangers. I agree it must be the safety knowing that the stranger can't do anything with the info, so it is relatively safe.
"Some issues are so personal and secret but are also on your mind 24/7 (like being in love with a married woman, or having a husband with a drug problem), that you sometimes just have to talk about it with someone who can't do any damage with the information."
This is so, so true. I think this plays a very big part in why people tend towards these "playground" confessions. But you don't have any assurance that the person at the playground to whom you're confessing is going to keep that information safe. The need to talk is just so powerful, I guess.
However, Scott is also right - it's also your listener nature. You should be flattered, hehe.
I have had people do random confessions in my life too, albeit not nearly as frequently as you. When people feel safe, they tend to let down their guard and the floodgates open up. Actually, I think I used to be a PPIR (perpetual personal information revealer). For most people this state exists either as worldly continuation of a stale argument with anyone that will listen to(and hopefully validate)their position, or it is a step on the transitional road from deception to honesty. For example, people who are characteristically deceptive (i.e. alcoholics from my personal experience) need to practice ridiculous honesty before they can get the concept of rigorous honesty. And there is a school of thought that God and healing can only exist in rigorous honesty. I remember sharing in an AA meeting a ridulously honest detail, that I am way too embarrased to repeat here, and realizing later how inappropriate it was. Interesting topic...
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