From Baby to Chiquita
Grace got a new swim instructor today. His name is Onno and the old instructor introduced him as he flipped his body into the water, splashing us while looking like an 18-year-old skateboarder with swim goggles. "Okay, guys," he says in a so-Cal accent, kind of like Bill or Ted from, oh, you know what I'm talking about. "So we're gonna push off the side on our backs and, like, kick the heck out of the water, 'kay?" The kids stared at him like he had three heads. Last week they blew bubbles and played motor boat. He wants them to do what?
Where was the cutesy little kid voice? How about a song or a get to know you game? No, Onno was treating them as though they were five, not two and a half. Five year olds get splashed and like it. Two year olds cry for their mommies when people talk too loudly. Five year olds want to impress the new teacher. Two year olds don't even trust extended family yet.
I smiled and tried not to smirk. Boy is he ever going to have to do some damage control, I thought condescendingly. But before any of the kids started sobbing, Onno looks at them, beckons them with his hand, and says impatiently, "Names, guys. Names." Will's mom said, "Will." John's mom said, "John." I said, "Grace."
He smiled and replied, "So we've got Dude, Dude, and Chiquita. Alright Dude number one, lets do it!" He held his arms out to Will, who I expected would break into a quivering mess. I watched in shock as Will, the kid with ear plugs who is probably allergic to lots of things and needs his crusts removed, jumped off the top step into Onno's arms. "But they didn't go on their backs last week," Will's mother says in astonishment.
Grace was next. "Okay, Chiquita. You're up." She didn't even look at me for reassurance. Into Onno's arms she went and was soon kicking on her back. She called for me once and then resumed kicking when she saw I was within arm’s reach. John was the same. His mom and I exchanged a "well would you look at that" look.
I way underestimated Onno today, but I am catching on quick. I fully expect them all to have a secret underwater hand shake by the end of the week. In fact, I'll be disappointed if they don't. Onno is now my inspiration. Because sometimes it takes someone from the outside, someone clearly without any toddler experience, to show you that your baby is now a chiquita.
Where was the cutesy little kid voice? How about a song or a get to know you game? No, Onno was treating them as though they were five, not two and a half. Five year olds get splashed and like it. Two year olds cry for their mommies when people talk too loudly. Five year olds want to impress the new teacher. Two year olds don't even trust extended family yet.
I smiled and tried not to smirk. Boy is he ever going to have to do some damage control, I thought condescendingly. But before any of the kids started sobbing, Onno looks at them, beckons them with his hand, and says impatiently, "Names, guys. Names." Will's mom said, "Will." John's mom said, "John." I said, "Grace."
He smiled and replied, "So we've got Dude, Dude, and Chiquita. Alright Dude number one, lets do it!" He held his arms out to Will, who I expected would break into a quivering mess. I watched in shock as Will, the kid with ear plugs who is probably allergic to lots of things and needs his crusts removed, jumped off the top step into Onno's arms. "But they didn't go on their backs last week," Will's mother says in astonishment.
Grace was next. "Okay, Chiquita. You're up." She didn't even look at me for reassurance. Into Onno's arms she went and was soon kicking on her back. She called for me once and then resumed kicking when she saw I was within arm’s reach. John was the same. His mom and I exchanged a "well would you look at that" look.
I way underestimated Onno today, but I am catching on quick. I fully expect them all to have a secret underwater hand shake by the end of the week. In fact, I'll be disappointed if they don't. Onno is now my inspiration. Because sometimes it takes someone from the outside, someone clearly without any toddler experience, to show you that your baby is now a chiquita.
posted by Sarah at 11:17 PM
2 Comments:
Dude. So like what your saying, is like, sometimes you have to, like, have a fresh attitude, and like, treat your kids older than they are, so like, they will push their boundaries, and stuff?? That's like, totally exclellent, dude. Your little Chiquita, is like totally lucky to have some dude with like, a totally So-Cal name like Onno, to be her swimming teacher. That's like totally awesome.
Like, how many times can I like, post the word like in this comment??
This is so funny!!!
"I watched in shock as Will, the kid with ear plugs who is probably allergic to lots of things and needs his crusts removed," aaahahahaha!
BTW- I totally am a fan of relating to where Giovanni will be eventually instead of where he is now in order to facilitate envelope pushing.
If they don't oh-well.
If they do, wow.
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