Proof!

Just to prove I am not entirely anti-Santa, here:

But what I really want to know is this: what happened to the Polaroid Santa pictures that we took stumbling through the mall at the last minute as children? I don't know how much my parents paid for them, but I'll tell ya right now it wasn't $24.99 for an enhanced CD image. We weren't at a studio, for crying out loud. It was the Mission Viejo Mall. But there were seriously like 8 workers (elves?) there with the lights and the camera(s) and the flashing toys to get the kids to smile and of course, someone to ring up your purchase. They even take Visa. Now, you can bring your own camera, but you must purchase a package, as well.

The worst is the line. It snakes around fake Christmas tree after fake Christmas tree, filled with whiney 3-year-olds with spit-shined hair-do's, shiny patent leather shoes and what have you. Then there were the two boys dressed like Christmas elves. Red and white striped stockings.

I admit; I did put the girls in cuter than normal outfits (which translates into NOT sweats and NOT poop stains) but Grace peed on her denim dress in the car (I hate Christmas traffic) so we went with the blue sweats. Natalie freaked out when she could tell I was planning on putting her down on a stranger's lap, so I quickly surmised that a Grace alone picture would be more realistic. I was NOT going to do the flashing lights spinning toy thing with Natalie.

All snarkiness aside, it was actually a fun first go at the Christmas ritual. And my other reason for blogging about it is to share that when I asked Grace if she wanted to go "take a picture with a man pretending to be Santa,*" she nodded and asked, "Shall we bring Santa a present?" She actually took one out from under our tree to give to him. We decided to bring him a glass jar with cocoa mix (who am I kidding? It's just Nestle Hot Chocolate) and some candies for the "elves." And in the car, before the peeing incident, she asked me quite sincerely, "Who is Santa's mommy? Is it Mary?"

All of this leads me to believe that the best is to leave Santa entirely out of it for the first cognizant Christmas. Bring him in later when you can distinguish him more clearly from the real reason for the season, and also when you can explain St. Nicholas.

Merry Christmas, everyone!


*Or, "a man pretending to be a person we pretend exists." But whatever.